Why You’ll Never Be Content Without God

sad personOver the last 13 years, I’ve walked my son through cancer twice. More than a quarter of his 24 years have been spent on one goal—knocking leukemia on its butt. And that’s not counting the years of cleaning up the fallout of all that chemo and radiation.

Kyle’s first treatment plan lasted over three and a half years. After I recovered from the shock, I zipped from anxious, to uncertain, to alarmed, to discouraged about 20 times a day. Watching him struggle brought on a sadness so deep my chest constantly ached. But every time I thought I’d tumble over the edge, a sense of calm caught me and held on.

Six years later, when cancer returned, relapse protocol called for a two-year treatment that lasted closer to three and turned my life upside down. The feelings from Kyle’s original diagnosis flooded back. But they weren’t alone. From day one, I was angry, bitter, frustrated, defeated, and beaten down. Almost two years out from his last round of chemo, I’m still trying to climb out of that black hole.

Why were my experiences so different?

Find out HERE on Crosswalk.com

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15 Surprising Ways to Find Relief from Anxiety

anxietyRush hour slows all four northbound lanes of highway traffic to twenty miles an hour…fifteen… ten…and holds at a five-mile-an-hour crawl. I’m boxed in by cars, SUVs, and a few semis. No off ramp in site. No way to cross to the shoulder. Not two minutes later, even the crawl ceases.

The engine idles roughly in my fourteen-year-old ride that’s clearly feeling the aches and pains of its two-hundred-thousand plus miles. In the last year, this van has stalled at a major intersection, blew out two tires in one day, and purged its radiator in the middle of a highway construction zone.

And I just know I’m going to get stuck today with no way out. By myself. On the highway…READ THE REST ON CROSSWALK.COM. 

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Life is Messy

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How to Wait on God Without Losing Faith

waitPlease, God, open up a decent spot. Tapping the steering wheel, I circled the local Walmart for the twelfth time, the need to hurry cramping my stomach. Couldn’t leave Kyle alone too long. What if something happened to him while I was gone?

I muttered the prayer a few more times, took a few more laps, but the only spot God opened in the rain-drenched, puddled parking lot was so far past left field that if the asphalt had been built for baseball the remote corner would never see a player.

Wishing I’d made a better choice in footwear, I glanced at my sandaled feet and parked. The wind blew the trees in front of my windshield so hard there was no chance I wouldn’t be soaked in cold rain the second I stepped from the shelter of the car. Tears filled my eyes. “God, seriously? You couldn’t even find me one stupid spot today of all days?”

I wanted to go home. But Kyle wanted donuts, the bakery had already closed, and since donuts were the one food my nineteen-year-old son kept down during this phase of chemo, that’s what he was getting. With or without God’s divine intervention. READ THE REST ON CROSSWALK.COM…


Looking for more posts like this?

Try Be Inspired, Life is Messy, or Surviving the Storm

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